I suppose you expected something mature and thoughtful from me today. Not.

An Engineer's Guide to Cats

Having grown up with a father who is an engineer (afflicted with the aeronautical variety), I can attest to the unique perspective from which such creatures view the world.  It turned out to be a blessing for me in the long run, as I have made something of a career out of translating between engineer/geek speakers and regular people. 

For those of you who have not been blessed with an engineer in your lives, here's a peek into their minds:

Frog Prince: Coxswain Under Instruction

Having failed to scare him off with some basic goat wrangling, the Frog Prince has returned for a couple of weeks to visit the Admiral and to do some work around the farm.  I'll be posting some pictures so that his parents (Frog Queen and King?) can verify that we haven't killed him. 

When we told Frog that we were mowing today, he probably didn't expect this.

 

After a few moments of instruction (press down on the clutch, engage the PTO for the mower, increase RPM's to about 1500, let off the clutch slowly....), he was ready to take off. 

The Admiral hasn't pulled the mower before, so she got some instruction as well.

Trimming the pasture encourages new growth, which the goats prefer.  We've got chicory mixed into this field, which they really enjoy.

 

The bucket stays up for better visibility.  No, you can't ride in it.

 

Next lesson: cleaning out the barn with that bucket.....

It Gets Worse

I came home from a meeting to find that I'd lost my place on the couch:

 

Apparently, he couldn't see the TV from the floor.

 

Now the next question:  where's he sleeping? 

 

I'm a world-traveled, well-educated, reasonably sophisticated person.  I also organize goat slumber parties.

Conceding Defeat

What kind of people bring livestock into their house? 

 

First I drew the line at the back door.

Then I drew the line at the kitchen, and only for treatment of hypothermic newborns.

Then I drew the line at bringing the preemie into the house overnight.

 

Now, our purebred buckling is ill.  He's recovering, but still has to be hydrated by tube feeding.  (Wrestling a feeding tube down a goat's gullet was NOT in the brochure).

Then he got heat exhaustion, because he's still dehydrated.  So.....

 

The songs on Guitar Hero haven't seemed to bother him.

 

All I can say now is:  Thank goodness we don't raise cattle. 

The Stoning of Soraya M.

This is the life that women have handed to them across vast swaths of the world.


More here:http://www.thestoning.com/.

Swine Flu Information Sources

Updated: 4/27 9:20 am I've been tracking sources for information about swine flu for the last 24 hours and am posting here some links that you may find useful. I'll update and bump the post as I find new resources.

• The single best source for rapid dissemination of objective information about the spread of the disease is at Veratect's twitter feed.
• Veratect is a biosurveillance company that has been tracking this outbreak since 30 March. They've posted a timeline, along with an excellent article about the operational irrelevance of academic definitions of pandemic phases and severity. If you are at all interested in the subject of biosurveillance, I highly recommend adding their blog to your feed reader.
• A unofficial Google map of swine flu cases (confirmed and suspected) is being maintained by a biomedical research worker, with contributions from users.
• Here's Google's Flu Trends Map, which is sort of an indications and warning based upon certain search terms that have been identified as useful advance indicators of flu diagnosis. How the surge in interest in swine flu may or may not skew this is unknown.
• The CDC's official page for updates on swine flu (and other pandemics) is here: http://www.pandemicflu.gov/ They have some useful information and links to other information, but frankly their information dissemination is on a significant time lag to Veratect.
• HealthMap tracks information on all disease outbreaks from a variety of sources. Use the menus on the left side of the screen to narrow down your results. They also have a Twitter feed.

Other useful & interesting information:

• The Center for Biosecurity has Risk Communication Before and During Pandemics, the text of a speech given in 2005 by Peter Sandman, a risk communication specialist.

Technorati Tags: swine flu

חַד גַּדְיָא, חַד גַּדְיָא (Chad Gadya) - The Passover Goat Song

Roz commented on an earlier post: "At Passover, we sing a song about a child whose father gives him a baby goat. It's fun, but babies are hard work to care for."  Naturally, I had to follow up to find this song and an explanation of its significance. 

 

The translated lyrics, predecessor I suppose, to the Old Lady Who Swallowed A Fly:

ONE LITTLE GOAT
Chad Gadya

One little goat, one little goat:
Which my father bought for two zuzim.

One little goat, one little goat:
The cat came, and ate the goat,
Which my father bought for two zuzim.

One little goat, one little goat:
The dog came, and bit the cat, that ate the goat,
my father bought for two zuzim. 

One little goat, one little goat:
The stick came, and beat the dog,
that bit the cat, that ate the goat,
Which my father bought for two zuzim. 

One little goat, one little goat:
The fire came, and burned the stick,
that beat the dog, that bit the cat, that ate the goat, 
Which my father bought for two zuzim. 

One little goat, one little goat:
The water came, and extinguished the fire,
that burned the stick, that beat the dog,
that bit the cat, that ate the goat,
Which my father bought for two zuzim. 

One little goat, one little goat:
The ox came, and drank the water,
that extinguished the fire, that burned the stick,
that beat the dog, that bit the cat, that ate the goat,
Which my father bought for two zuzim. 

One little goat, one little goat:
The slaughterer came, and killed the ox,
that drank the water, that extinguished the fire,
that burned the stick, that beat the dog,
that bit the cat, that ate the goat,
Which my father bought for two zuzim. 

One little goat, one little goat:

The Angel of Death came, and slew the slaughterer,
who killed the ox, that drank the water,

that extinguished the fire, that burned the stick,
that beat the dog, that bit the cat, that ate the goat,
Which my father bought for two zuzim. 

One little goat, one little goat:

Then came the Holy One, Blessed be He,
and smote the Angel of Death, who slew the slaughterer,
who killed the ox, that drank the water,
that extinguished the fire, that burned the stick,

that beat the dog, that bit the cat, that ate the goat,
Which my father bought for two zuzim. 

One little goat, one little goat.
Chad gadya, chad gadya,
חַד גַּדְיָא, חַד גַּדְיָא

I wonder if LED lights are a legitimate farm expense

It's been ages since I posted, I know.   I run a consulting business, volunteer in a museum, and have a herd of 72 goats. I'm a little busy.

I'm thinking I may have to re-order my priorities, because this looks like fun:

 

You'll note the complete absence of lambs.  Things get a little slow in the "off" season.

H/t to The Anchoress

Effective Birth Control

 

I should lease goat kids to schools for "family planning" education: 

Up all night, up all day, up all night again.  Warm the baby, feed the baby, cuddle the baby.  Lather, rinse, repeat endlessly. 

 

Nothing beats having a small living being that is totally reliant upon you for life to drive home the lesson of just how completely a baby will take over your life.

 

Just ask this mother: